My autobiography, in chapters

Today’s bloganuary prompt is a real puzzler. What would I title the chapters of my autobiography?

Again, I’m blogging on my phone and hate phone typing, so I’ll make this short.

The first chapter might be, An Unplanned Life. Because I was a surprise to my parents, who weren’t married at the time, and I’ve also…never planned much. Planning scares me. I embrace the unplanned. I’m learning how to not hate planning so much, because some degree of that work unlocks new possibility. Not everything good happens spontaneously.

A person, who isn’t me, using a planner.

Early childhood chapter might be Plays with Trolls. I grew up in Germany when we were still on the DM currency, and whenever I had a “mark” I’d take it to the corner grocery store and get myself a little plastic troll doll. They came out of a gumball-esque dispenser. I created a little world for us in my grandparents’ backyard, where my Opa had carved a face into an old tree. There was a little hole in the tree for the trolls to hang out. I didn’t have tons of friends, but I never felt lonely. Play is still important to me, and I’m a pretty good troll 😈 to my friends and colleagues.

Troll doll with green hair on a table

Then there’s that chapter that’s mostly depressing, the Lost Years. I don’t remember a lot. I did some pretty terrible things, to myself and others. I lost myself. I’m still trying to find myself.

A person who isn’t me aimlessly wandering on a railroad track. Not super safe!

So what are we up to now? The caterpillar chapter. I forget if I blogged about this, but…ya know “goblin mode?” I was stuck in that since 2019. With the help of my work coach (an amazing company perk!), I’m closing the goblin mode chapter and embarking on caterpillar. Moving out of my cocoon, experimenting, feeling around for what life could be and already is (the things I want to keep).

And that’s it! The rest is still to be written. I mean, assuming I don’t die tonight. That’s a dark way to end this post, but anything is possible?

Seize the day. Embrace the caterpillar! Wiggle forward a little more each day, and appreciate the bumps along the way.

A fuzzy and curious caterpillar crawling along a leaf

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